“Don't scream in my ears, man, I'm not deaf. And I could take some more coffee, thank you, but not right away. Oh gods...” Bert leaned back, closed his eyes, and looked more horrible than usual with his lower lip hanging low. Firt guessed this was one of those weirder days.

“All right then. All I'm saying we probably should get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“Orcs, they're coming. You know, I wouldn't shout about orcs if orcs weren't coming this way, you know?”

“Ye gods, this is stupid.” Bert groaned as he got up and tilted his head, stretched with an audible snap – Firt didn't find the habit very pleasant – and calmly went back to sit by the verandah table. “Bah, orcs...” he said, as he reached forth lazily to take his coffee mug. He poured some of the night-black drink in it. “So what do you know of the orcs?”

“Well, there's one of them running right at us!”

“Really, now. You've been screaming about that for a few moments already. I suppose it's coming across the field.” Bert's gaze was too blurry to see what was happening in the distance, but he was in the mood for guessing things.

“Right on! Across the field!”

“Waving sword and stuff.”

“Waving sword, yeah!”

“And not having any problems running this way, no.” The coffee did help; perhaps Bert would actually wake up properly this fine day...

“And I take it we should prepare for some sort of battle now?”

“Yeah! I mean, it's coming this way...”

“...very fast?”

“Well, it is stumbling a bit every now and then – I guess it's difficult to run on a wheat field and all – or maybe it thinks we haven't seen it yet and it thinks it's some sort of clever way to approach...”  

“Approaching really fast. In middle of the field. Sword raised.”

“Yep.”

Bert hesitated. “Like, now. This morning.”

“Yep.”

A terrifying noise.

“Oh, I see.” Firt grinned. Then he sighed, sat down and enjoyed the moment: Drinking morning coffee on a country manor's verandah, having a certain feeling that he wouldn't need to work until at least the afternoon, the distant fog up in the far-away hills, and the beautifully humid air just before a summer lightning storm.